We’ve all been there. Burned out. Weary, Fatigued, Disillusioned. Sometimes, we find that we have pushed ourselves to the limit – yet again. I tend to this once a year. I work and work, and work some more until I have exhausted all of my resources – body and mind. And then, I’m dead. At this point, I can’t find anything at all that inspires me to create. I get through life on autopilot – waking up, cooking food for my family, doing housework, then sleep. Rinse, repeat. I’m sure you’ve all felt this way before.
Last year, I was lucky enough to get into four craft fairs. I started working on my Mandalas from January 2019 to February. The first craft show I joined was for March. For people who have done craft shows, you’d know the work it takes to prepare for these fairs. And for those who are planning to join their first craft show, you will soon understand the importance of having enough products to display, as well as preparing everything else that you’ll be needing for your booth. Anyway, my next craft show was a big one and was set for November. I put in more preparation for this event. I created two or three more giant Mandalas, if I remember correctly. It was a city event and so there was some real pressure to produce high quality products. The fair ran for nine days and I was truly exhausted by this time. I should have stopped and rested. At least took some time to regroup. But then, I had two more events lined up for December. I pushed on and the result was a zombie version of me by the end of December. I was being invited to more events – two more! But I finally had the good sense to refuse. Also, my husband aka driver and helper was not very happy anymore with the situation that’s quickly turning into madness.
By January 2020, I couldn’t find the strength to crochet. To be honest, I couldn’t crochet. I didn’t want to crochet anymore. And so I didn’t. I packed my WIPs and stored them in boxes that I won’t see and access easily. But March came, and COVID-19 is making its full impact on Baguio City and I found myself crocheting again. But this time, it wasn’t crocheting for art but for functionality. The earsavers were needed by the frontliners and together with the Baguio Crochet Group, ‘Crochet Anteys & Angkels of Baguio’, we made a campaign to crochet earsavers to help our local frontliners.
But still my mojo wasn’t back. I wasn’t inspired to create. I looked at all my unfinished projects and felt nothing. I sold all of my yarns and put away all my hooks like I never want to see these again. I even closed my online yarn store temporarily. I figured I’ll wait until this COVID thing blows over.
So, no desire to crochet. No inspiration. No new creation. Until yesterday when I attended a virtual meetup on Zoom with some of the members of my Baguio Crochet Group. It was short notice and not many attended, but that’s OK. We had fun sharing our works and I just found the inspiration to crochet again from listening to people (happily, animatedly, and lovingly!) talk about yarns, their projects, and just the love for creating something with yarns and crochet hooks or knitting needles! For the first time in months, I picked up my crochet hook and started a few single crochets. And before I know it, I was crocheting again, right there during our Zoom meeting! And today, I dragged my kids to the park to breathe some fresh air, and I decided to bring my WIP basket and maybe do a few rows. I finally found my mojo back. I was happy to crochet again.